Important!
Acceptance for who you are is extremely important and as many people don’t know Hera (My Girlfriend) had an abdominal hernia surgery and a stomach band put in. This wasn’t exactly done according to what she wanted. Despite objections I had I felt her family was way too “keen” about it. She did want the band and for the past 6 weeks was incredibly happy with it until the sepsis. I understand the fear of obesity and it’s effects on the human body. Let us get this straight, neither me or Hera think obesity is healthy. And both of us struggle to keep our weight down. I unfortunately came from a youth filled with rugby and the associated appetite that I don’t get to burn off and so am overweight. But Hera’s problem was exacerbated by PCOS and so a band was recommended. It’s just that normally you go through a lot of prep but that did not occur in her case due to her family hurrying things along. Honestly? It left a bad taste in my mouth. And for this? Hera wishes to speak on what happened and what it’s like to be denigrated for something you have trouble with. We both still want to keep our weight under control and in my case lose some more but her scars are real. She fears that the scars left make her unattractive. I frankly am covered in scars and frankly if I look good with mine then so does she. I don’t agree with the way she was treated and I didn’t realise how much she kept from me to make sure I was liked by her family. But this is painful to read.As you all know from my last post, I pretty much nearly died a week ago. Twice.
My family gives me a lot of emotional pain in regards to how I look. They’ve always been upset about my weight and size. I’ve always been made to feel ungainly as I grew up. Wasn’t really known to be a looker, really. Not fair or slim, you know, typical Indian defining qualities of beauty.
It didn’t help when I told them that my in-laws didn’t fancy me because of how I looked. It made them panic and worry even more and they would occasionally make remarks that insinuated that my boyfriend was having doubts with our relationship whenever he never called, when he hesitated to introduce me to his family and when they didn’t treat me well after meeting me.
My boyfriend nearly broke up with me because of the pressure his parents exerted on him because of how I looked. They told him that if he didn’t break up with ugly me, they’d stop funding his education. And for a brief moment, he picked his education over me. I guess he probably thought that a girlfriend wasn’t going to get him through life but a degree would. Awfully pragmatic but true.
When the incident happened, my uncle who flew up made a comment about how my family needs to realize that enough is enough and that in their obsession/’care’about my weight, I nearly died. A fat Hera is better than no Hera.
I used to be a size 18. I’ve lost so much weight from the whole ordeal, I’ve dropped down to a 14. That’s 2 dress sizes and 2.5 stones of weight loss.
Today, the uncle who hates my weight the most just told me that once I’ve recovered, I need to go on a drastic diet because I’m still big and that I’m still in need of some fixes.
It broke my heart to think that even though I nearly died, they were still thinking about my weight.
I’m deeply unhappy because I was so unwell and this is still happening. I guess they’ll only ever stop if I actually did die.
Heh.
- Hera